Today is today

...and it's passing slowly. J. has gone on a day trip with friends to occupy his mind and his time.

I need something bright

When he returns, I will have to share recently released news about our friend "Justin" who was killed. His father has been charged with voluntary manslaughter - an odd charge. Police affidavits reveal that while Justin was violent and attacking his father, the father continued to shoot him after he was down. The article makes a point of describing our friend Justin lying in the family's front flower bed as his father continued to shoot him. It's not fun to read - but everyone wants to know. Maybe if we know every detail then it will begin to make sense, we think.


The articles also describes  Justin's repeated violence against his family. I have seen the look in his eyes - a determined, bone-chilling look that threatened and scared me. The look of a sick person, one that faded into a quiet, odd, but good person on good days. I never knew him when he was Mr. High School, dating the prettiest girl, outgoing and brilliant. The diseases of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia came on swiftly and strongly. I can see how his father would be legitimately scared for his life, and the life of Justin's sister who was in the home as well. I can even see how the only way to stop him might have been to shoot him. But it seems to have gone too far - who knows, only his sister was there as a dependable eye witness. I will never be able to judge.

I gave up prayer a long time ago, but in the last 3 days, I have listened to J.'s prayers with reverence and echoes in my own mind.

I must know - was Justin getting the help he needed? Where did the system break down? How can the mentally ill be expected to be proactive in their own treatment? What can we do?

RIP, Friend.